The British Union Conference Women's Ministries department is endeavouring to feature publications encouraging women to thrive despite life's challenges. The book You Can Be Happy Again is one such publication. Here is my interview with author Delia Gould:
SPM – Delia, thank you for sharing your experience of bouncing back after infidelity, betrayal and loss, which is the subtitle of your publication. Please share with our readers a synopsis of what occurred.
DG– My husband had an affair with my best friend while being a prominent leader in the church. It was one of the darkest moments in my life. Married for over ten years, God blessed us with our own home, business, and two wonderful sons. Life was good! I then noticed a change in the relationship dynamics between my husband and best friend. Over three years later, I found out they were having an affair.
SPM – The actual book title is: You Can Be Happy Again. Was there a time during your ordeal when you felt you might never be happy again?
DG– While going through this ordeal, I went through a season of great depression. Hardly eating and sleeping, I lost much weight and even fainted. I spent countless hours lying in bed, crying, and had no energy to do anything. I felt like my whole life had fallen apart. Not only had I lost my husband, but my best friend too. I wondered if I could ever be happy again or even able to love again.
SPM – It would have taken a lot of courage to bear your soul, such as you did in your book. What made you decide to write so revealingly about your experience?
DG– I suffered for over three years in silence and told no one, not even my mum. Far too many women are suffering in silence, and I am on a mission to help 10,000 and more find happiness again. I decided to be authentic and shared the good, the bad and the ugly. I wanted to share a message of hope and let women know that no matter what they are going through, they can be happy again!
SPM – Your faith has been an integral part of your life. Please share with our readers how this impacted the trajectory of your journey.
DG– I would not have made it through this ordeal if it wasn't for my faith in God. Even in my darkest hour, I held on to Him, knowing that I could not make it on my own but needed His strength to make it through. On my journey, God showed me He was right there with me. He sent someone to catch me when I fainted and fell to the concrete ground. He spoke to me through dreams and even used my 9-year-old son to give me three Bible texts at one of my lowest points: Romans 8:28; "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose." Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Finally, Job 23:10 "But he knoweth the way that I take; when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." These brought great comfort and hope, reminding me that God was with me.
SPM – Did you ever feel that God had forsaken you at any point in this unexpected life experience?
DG– I did feel at one point that God had forsaken me, but I kept believing and holding on to Him.
SPM – Let's talk about forgiveness. We know it's a biblical principle that we strive to practice as Christians. You mentioned that you were able to forgive your husband and best friend. How could you do this despite the pain and trauma you encountered?
DG – As a Christian, I knew I needed to forgive them if I wanted God to forgive me. Whenever I met them, a pressure of negative emotions rose within me; bitterness, anger, rage, hatred, sadness, frustration, and resentment all came together. At one point, I cried so much that I vomited uncontrollably. For months, I struggled with this seemingly impossible task. I knew there was no way I could do this on my own strength. I needed divine help.
So, at night when I woke up and could not sleep, I lay in my bed and prayed, asking God for the strength I needed to forgive them. After many sleepless nights and battles in my mind, I decided it was time for me to forgive. That day, I called them, one at a time, and offered my forgiveness. From that moment on, I have never had such negative emotions whenever I saw them together. Those feelings had instantly stopped, all because I chose to forgive.
SPM – I love the segment at the end of each chapter where you highlight lessons learned. What was the motivational factor that led you to include this aspect?
DG – My aim is for women to look at my experience, learn from it and help prevent them from making some of my mistakes.
SPM – What would you say to individuals currently experiencing what you went through?
DG– Hold on to God like your life depends on it because it does. You cannot make it on your own. In my book, You Can Be Happy Again, I gave tips on how to find happiness again. One is to accept the things we cannot change and know when to let go and move on.
SPM – Please share with our readers how they can purchase your book.
DG – Please visit my website at www.deliagould.com for your free gift and more information. You Can Be Happy Again is available on Amazon and will soon be available on the LifeSource website www.lifesourcebookshop.co.uk and in their shops.
SPM – Delia, speaking with you about your publication has been a privilege. Thank you for sharing your life lessons and what you are currently doing to reach out to other women who have experienced this type of trauma, demonstrating that with the help of God, they can be happy again.